Yes, I’m in a same-sex relationship. But please don’t call me a lesbian.

When my partner was newly pregnant, we began interviewing midwives and took what has become for us a normal precaution: Before meeting with the one we liked best, we sent her an email introducing ourselves and our relationship. Still, one of the first things she said to us when we sat down was, “Just so you know, I’m very comfortable with lesbians.”

The thing is: we’re not lesbians.